This Post is For Me, Not You.

Warning: the following has a very good chance to make no sense to you. I just needed a open place to share my heart. Bare with me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple of weeks. With a lot of things I held onto in my life being removed this week, it's given me plenty of time to process and evaluated. About a month ago I decided to not plant Ridgepoint. I decision that wasn't easy for me to make, but the right decision. Ridgepoint is going to go into my book as a failure (which isn't a bad things). We can't grow as followers and leaders if we aren't willing to fail. Mark Batterson suggests that the cure of failure is not successes, but small amounts of failure. We have to fail to get us to the place God wants us to be. The place where His power is truly shown. I took a risk, as we all should. A risk that I believe God could of blessed, but I got in the way. In hindsight, I'm glad I made the decision when I did, because it would a been too much for me to handle if I was still planting and had a week like I did last. I don't know how I would of reacted. I would of been two pre-view services in and dealing with life. It would of been hard.

Why do I think Ridgepoint failed? I couldn't carry the weight of the church on my shoulders and as a church planter you carry that weight. My heart was for the existing church. Northwest Valley has plenty of churches. I got too focused on the church and not on Whom who called me to plant one.

Don't get me wrong. I've learned a lot this year. My heart has changed toward non-believers, the church and my God. I wouldn't change this last year for the world. As hard as it was at times, I love the outcome of it. A new me. I don't look at life the same way. I still have a long ways to go, but I'm on the right path now. I've learned how to be crazy in love with God and with others. I still miss ministry and ask God daily to give me a place to service in my passion, but I trust His plan and hold onto that hope.

Someone asked me this week if I made the right decision to leave Arrowhead. My answer was this to them: Yes! I wouldn't be the man I am today if I stayed. Nothing against Arrowhead, I'm back there now, but God had to get me uncomfortable to take me on this journey. I was happy and comfortable at Arrowhead and God never moves when you're comfortable. He moves when you've decided to get uncomfortable and do whatever He is calling you to do. I got uncomfortable, took a risk and God blessed that. I would make the same decision again.

My prayer: God, give me an opportunity to be reminded every day that You are God and You are Holy. That Your thoughts are greater then my thoughts and Your ways greater then my ways. You are the God of this universe and I stand in awe today. Push me to become the man you've called me to be. Bring people around me to love on me and challenge me in my love toward you and the people you bled for. Remind me that You are always there and Your plan is always perfect. Even in the times I don't understand and beg to know why. Father, give me a place to use my talents and knowledge. Father, guide my path and give me opportunities to be dicisplined toward your purpose. God remind me that I am yours. Thank you father. Thank you God. Amen.

Side note: pray for two guys God has laid on my heart. Pray that God would keep opening doors and giving me boldness to plant and water seeds. Thank you God for speaking!